Tuesday, 7 September 2010

♦ Aussie Humour..

  We certainly do like taking the piss, as we say here in oz, outta things.. And out government is no exception.. We aussies make fun of anything and everything, even ourselves, or more so ourselves I should say.. Our sense of humour is a little wicked, and it can be hard for the rest of the world to take @ times.. If you think along the lines of; we may not take things so serious on appearance, however, underlying our humour is always a very strong seriousness.. 

  We do laugh at anything and everything tho, which is not always good, but at least we do have a sense of humour.. We CAN take a joke :)

These are a couple of jokes that I have recently gotten thru email.. 





Stimulus Package


It's a slow day in a dusty little Australian town. The sun is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day a rich tourist from down south is driving through town,stops at the local Motel and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.

He gives him keys to a few rooms and as soon as the man walks upstairs, the owner grabs the $100 bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher. 

The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. 

The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.

The guy at the Farmer's Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his drinks bill at the local pub. 

The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar , who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit. 

The hooker rushes to the motel and pays off her room bill to the motel owner with the $100.

The motel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the $100 bill, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything.

However, the whole town is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.






Dad & Dave saw an ad in the Daily Newspaper in Geelong, Victoria. and bought a mule for $100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.

The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night.."

Dad & Dave replied, "Well, then just give us our money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule."

The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?"

Dad said, "We're gonna raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"

Dad said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"

A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Dad & Dave at the local grocery store and asked.

"What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"

They said,"We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do."

Dad said,"Hell, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898."

The farmer said,"My Lord, didn't anyone complain?"

Dave said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."

Dad & Dave now work for the Labor government.

They're financial advisers to Wayne Swan Australia 's finance minister.

Limit all Australian politicians to two terms.

One in office, One in prison


 

No comments:

Post a Comment